The 2012 Act Three Journey of an Actress/Coach/Writer.

Day 21 Unacceptable

Posted by themirrenlee on 21/01/2012


So much in life is unacceptable, and yet we put up with it. I have been learning not to do this.

I now say, “I’m sorry, but that is unacceptable to me.” If it involves a Logic Vacuum (see yesterday’s post), then I say, “I’m sorry, but that is both illogical and unacceptable.”

Then I ask whoever is responsible for the situation how we can fix it. As Anthony Robbins says, “Questions are the answer.” Every time you ask a question, you put the other person on the defensive, giving you the stronger position. When you make a statement, instead, you let them off the hook because it sounds like you’ve taken the responsibility.

Asking, “How can you fix this?” is far more likely to produce the result you want than saying, “I hope you can fix this.” Even saying, “I want/expect/demand that you fix this,” is not as powerful as asking a question because all it does is fan the flames of confrontation. Asking whoever it is what they’re going to do about it makes them become active about whatever it is instead of passively listening to you be upset.

It came up today for me as I continued my adventures with the telecommunications company I mentioned yesterday (Optus here in Australia). I wanted to unlock a phone them and move it to another provider. We are talking pre paid SIM cards, not contracts. The phone in question is at least 10 years old, and the old SIM card had not been used for about 5 years. Seems simple enough, doesn’t it? Little did I know I was about to be sucked up into a MEGA logic vacuum.

Day One:  I’m told that I have to buy a $2 SIM card to give me a number that they could then unlock (I thought it was because we didn’t know the old number, but it turned out to just be a lie). I did this, and was told to come back the next day once the card was activated.

Day Two:  The customer service person – let’s call her Rhiannon because that’s her name – rings the unlocking section to finish the process.

She gets a person named Jessie, probably one of the most passive aggressive sounding people I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with. Customer Service Officer is an oxymoron when referring to him. He tells her that I will have to either pay $83 or use the phone for 6 months (with the $2 SIM card?!) before I can unlock it. He says the employee who told Rhiannon that I should buy the $2 SIM card was just expressing her opinion about what to do, not stating a fact! No, he does not have a Team Leader, Manager, or anyone else we can speak to about this situation.

Rhiannon gives up, defeated, and advises that perhaps to solve the problem I should just buy another cheap prepaid phone and put my new provider’s SIM card in it.

I tell her this is entire situation is both illogical and unacceptable to me, and who do I have to talk to in order to get the result I want?

I am advised that I could go to the website and lodge a complaint.

I say no, that is unacceptable because it is too slow, and besides, I now feel the need to yell at someone.

I say it is impossible that there isn’t some kind of manager type person higher than Jessie that I can talk to. They say I could try calling back the unlocking department and just speaking to someone else. As I am a great believer in going through people until you find the one with the answer you want, I agree to this.

I get Joe on the phone. First, I ask for his employee ID (to make him feel responsible for my situation) and then explain my story, telling him it is both illogical and unacceptable that I can’t unlock this phone for free, and then ask him what he can do for me. I also ask him if the employee who told me to buy the $2 SIM card was lying about the process.

Joe is wonderful. He says we need the original number. I ask, “Well, isn’t it on file somewhere?” He agrees that it is, and I give him a number under the battery of the handset (the IMEI number), plus my ex mother in law’s name (this is being done for her to have an emergency phone). In a couple of minutes, Joe has the original number. He takes me through the unlocking process, and within 5 minutes it’s all done.

I tell Joe that Jessie is a prick and should be fired. I ask if he needs me to help with this or will he take care of it. He says he will take care of it. I tell him I’m sorry to be rude, but Jessie is a ********************** and shouldn’t be working in customer service. I didn’t need to phrase all of my statements as questions because Joe just kept agreeing with me!

You don’t have to put up with the shit people throw at you. You can throw it back and then ask them to clean you up.

Don’t accept what is unacceptable to you. Stand your ground. Ask people what they’re going to do about it. Get mad, but stay in control. Keep asking questions until you get the answer(s) you want.

Otherwise, you’ll just keep swallowing frustration and anger until you have no room left for cake, chocolate or apple pie.  And that would be a terrible tragedy!

I’m just sayin’ …

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