the MIRREN LEE

The 2012 Act Three Journey of an Actress/Coach/Writer.

Day 88 The Stress of Helping

Posted by themirrenlee on 28/03/2012

The stress of helping.

Sometimes when we help, all we feel is the "P" for "Pain".

That’s what I’m feeling tonight. I have agreed to take a good friend to her doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and I know all Fibromites can identify with the stress it’s ended up causing me, even though I want so much to help her. Especially since she’s the one who gave me her car because she can’t drive anymore (she’s 91 and her eyes bother her too much).

The problem is it throws my whole routine out the window. We’re spending the night at another friend’s place because it’s much closer to where we have to drive tomorrow, and I didn’t want to have to get up any earlier than I needed to. Even though I’ve said over and over “I don’t do mornings”, somehow this appointment got made for 11am, which means we have to leave at 10am, which means I have to get up at 8am to be functioning by then. With my broken night’s sleep not starting usually until about 2am – it takes me a long time  to go under – I will be seriously sleep deprived, which will raise my pain levels.

Then, after the doctor, she wants to do “a bit of shopping”, which usually takes a couple of hours. I’ve started getting an electric wheel chair at the mall because of the osteo pain in my lower back when I walk, and because of the size of this particular mall, and that will help a bit. But there will still be the shopping, which I am not a fan of, and then driving her home, and then back to my place, which is a total tomorrow of more than 2 hours of driving.

I love to help people I care about. One of the MANY hard things to take with this stupid, horrible chronic condition is how limited my ability to help anyone has become. It’s all I can do, in order to function the best I can, to follow my strict routine of “one day on, one day off,” allow enough time for sleeping and just resting/meditating, exercise, errands, and my writing/teaching. At the moment, I have to add moving within the next 3 weeks, so you can imagine how much stress will be involved there!

They say in the list of most stressful life events, moving is at the top, even more so than divorce. The funny thing is I LOVE change, and so actually enjoy moving, especially when I hate the place I’m in and am SO looking forward to moving back to the beach. However, the physical toll it takes on my body since the Fibro got worse is pretty traumatic. I’ll be allowing at least a week to recuperate from the move itself.

I’m going to take a deep breath, do some relaxation visualizing, and keep telling myself I’ll get through tomorrow just fine. Mind Body Connection. When faced with difficult situations, I always take some time to focus on the saying, “Let Go, Let God”. I am not a Christian, but my god is the Universal Energy, and so it works just as well. Strangely, it always works for me. I tell myself I’m not in charge, so I might as well just relax and see what happens. Being optimistic helps me, too. I tell myself that things will work out the way they’re meant to. The final mind “trick” I do is to see myself on the “other side” of the challenge, with it successfully behind me.

And if all else fails, I can collapse on Friday!

I refuse to let this horrible condition stop me from doing what needs to be done for someone else.

I’m just helpin’ …

2 Responses to “Day 88 The Stress of Helping”

  1. pain relief…

    […]Day 88 The Stress of Helping « the MIRREN LEE[…]…

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