the MIRREN LEE

The 2012 Act Three Journey of an Actress/Coach/Writer.

Day 94 Where There’s No Choice …

Posted by themirrenlee on 03/04/2012

Where there’s no choice …

there’s clarity.

I love that saying. Often we’re all so overwhelmed by the amount of choices open to us in our lives that we get paralyzed by indecision.

Can you imagine how quickly you’d get the grocery shopping done if there was only one type of anything you could buy?

Just a quick trip to get “bread and milk” involves a whole list of options: regular, low/no/some percentage of fat milk; white/whole wheat/rye/seeded/no seeds/extra fiber/sour dough bread; organic/pasteurised/homogenised; added vitamins/low G.I./gluten free. Not even mentioning milk that comes from soy, rice or other animals, and bread that’s unleavened/kosher. It’s quite mind boggling. And that’s just bread and milk!

It’s one of many reasons why I have almost a phobia of setting foot in grocery stores. I wonder if there’s a name for it?

This all came up for me today trying to decide where I was going to live when my lease is up in about 3 weeks. I know I want to return to the beach, but I also have a commitment to house/cat sit for friends when they go to the London Olympics in July for a month.

Then there’s my peak commitment (goal) to myself this year to get to L.A. by the end of October for an extended visit. Maybe I shouldn’t be getting into another lease at all yet? But then what to do?

So many choices between family, friends, short term accommodation.

Then I remembered my counsellor asking me once, when trying to make another decision, what felt like the least stress. After “feeling” it, instead of just thinking about it, I told her and she simply asked, “Well, why don’t you do that?”

I laughed, and then felt teary at the same time, because I realized I was wondering if I was “allowed” to do it!

I know I’m not alone in this. So many people wonder if they can make a decision without clearing it first with all the people closest to them. It’s just the habit we get into, especially if we come from either a close family or a dysfunctional one. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference!

So I asked myself what decision felt like it would cause me the least stress, and that’s the one I went with.

Since stress is the last thing a Fibromite needs, the one best choice for me became apparent, and clarity was achieved.

Okay, yes, it’s not really no choice, but it is one that’s so obviously the best one for you, no matter what anyone else says, that you don’t have to doubt it.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you what I’m about to do.

I’m just decision makin’ …

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