the MIRREN LEE

The 2012 Act Three Journey of an Actress/Coach/Writer.

Day 114 The First Day …

Posted by themirrenlee on 23/04/2012

… of the rest of my year.

My plan begins in earnest now. There are two things I know, from personal experience.

1. We can have anything we want if we want it badly enough.

2. Everything happens for a reason.

For whatever we want, we need to have reached our threshold of NOT having it. Then we need to focus on it in every aspect of our lives – from putting up pictures to ticking off the goals it takes to achieve it. And we need to IGNORE anyone who says it’s a crazy idea.

As for what happens to us, they’re all lessons. Sometimes we’ll find out right away why it happened, other times it can take up to decades. Sometimes, if we’re a bit “slow”, we may have to learn the lesson more than once.

I learned the lesson this week that I can’t, with Fibromyalgia, pack up and clean a flat or house all by myself. I had the same exhausting experience twice before, so I’m one of the slow ones!

Tomorrow I’ll be hooked up to my computer again, so I’ll be able to post more, and include photos, etc. I’ll be able to start explaining why I’ve reached my threshold in the way I was living my life, and why I wanted to change it.

I also want to share, in the Fibromyalgia Category, my 30 year journey with this horrible condition. Journey? It’s been like the bus trip from Hell in the middle of Siberia! I might be able to help others with what I’ve learned, since there’s hardly a drug or treatment that I haven’t tried. I’ve also learned, for the Australians, services available for them they may not be aware of.

Today was a good start. I knew I’d be totally incapacitated after the Hummer hit me during the night, but I made a conscious decision to just give into it, drug myself to the eyeballs (in this case, Mersyndol Forte knocked me out), and sleep for almost 24 hours, off and on.

I woke up sore, of course, but mostly stiff, which I expected. I felt rested, though, or as rested as chronic fatigue will allow. To sum up, I did the best that I should have for myself, and I feel like tomorrow I’ll be able to function with the appointments I have – doctor and counsellor. The really good news is that with all the hard work (and sweats) I’ve lost over 5 pounds! Bear in mind that this was while on a mostly sugar diet because when I’m incredibly sore and tired I can’t eat normal food; my IBS won’t let me. (Please don’t send me nutritional advice – I know my body.)

And I DO realize how lucky I am that I’m in the situation now where
I’m only accountable to myself, since I got rid of the husbands, and both my kids are grown up. Having any chronic condition while still raising a family – and I’ve been there – is about as hard as it gets. My thoughts go out to those in that position. All I can say is: train them!

I’m texting this from a comfortable bed, in a luxurious house (my friends have a beautiful place), with their cat purring beside me. (I am a CAT FREAK!) Sometimes, through all the poo poo that life throws at us, we just have to stop for a minute and be grateful for those little good things that make those bigger bad things more bearable.

I’m just sayin’ …

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