the MIRREN LEE

The 2012 Act Three Journey of an Actress/Coach/Writer.

Archive for May, 2012

Day 152 Unrepentant Optimist

Posted by themirrenlee on 31/05/2012

So the terrible news is that I didn’t make it to Sydney for Nicky’s birthday tomorrow. When I think how old my grandson is turning – the big 13 – I then have to look at his Daddy (David) and remember with shock that he’s turning 45 on the 24th. And me only 61. Yup, that’s what happens when you have a kid at 16. But then I waited 20 years to have Sarah, so I learned what it was all about and crossed my legs!

I can’t help it, I’m an Optimist, so even though I had a few tears of disappointment at not being there tomorrow, I’m looking on the bright side. I’ve sent him a present for tomorrow, and he’s going to see “Men in Black” in the evening, then cake on Saturday with family, then a BBQ next weekend with school mates (a holiday one here for the Queen’s birthday, which isn’t really her birthday at all … never mind, I can’t explain the English.), then cupcakes and milkshakes when I finally get there – you get the gist. It’s the birthday that keeps on giving, so it’s working out well.

More good things – I got my second round of antibiotics today, as suggested when it’s a bad infection, which I think we can all agree on THAT – and I’m now definitely in recovery phase, which means getting better but no stamina yet.

I’ve decided that when I can leave my bed to run errands without breaking into a giant unending sweat, that will tell me I’m ready to drive to Sydney. I’m thinking (hoping) maybe mid next week.

I owe a few thank you’s to people for visiting here – please forgive me, but I’ve only been sending short bursts from my phone (instead of from my full site on the computer), and haven’t been doing much else since I’ve had the Nazis invade my body. I feel like I’ve had them in me as long as they raised hell the first time in Europe, but it’s really only been almost a month (that’s including the first throat infection). I take full responsibility for the length, though, because I should have demanded antibiotics (or as I like to think of them, The Allies) as soon as I felt it all coming on. I will never let Dr. Twat bully me again. My Sydney doctor gives me an antibitotic scrip to carry with me at all times because she’s aware of how well I know my body. I’ll be getting another one when I’m there.

One of my husbands said it was smarter to be a Pessimist about life because then you never got disappointed, plus if you felt positive about something that then crashed, it hurt more. How incredibly stupid is that? It means you never allow yourself to be happy and excited in anticipation of anything.

Being around people like that makes me want to say, “Pass the Prozac, please” (or the divorce papers).

Bless the hearts of all us Optimists. Always believing that there are good things coming just around the corner makes coping with life so much easier.

I’m just stayin’ positive …

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Day 151 The Bloggess

Posted by themirrenlee on 30/05/2012

I’m getting there, but still fighting the (non) sleep issue, so just a short post to share something delightful.

I’ve been reading the book I mentioned before, “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”, by Jenny Lawson, and it’s so exquisitely insane that I’m taking it slowly so I don’t finish too soon.

Then I went to her blogging site. Oh, what a treat. She continues her insanity, and even has a shop full of slightly twisted items. There’s a T shirt I love that says “I’m sorry but real clothes are too difficult”. I think all Fibromites should have that on their night clothes!

Then there’s a bag that says, “Please be nice. I’m doing the best I can. Also, I have a knife.” See what I mean?!

Here’s the link

thebloggess.com

She’s really fun and satirical. She is also an example of a blogger turning her work into a book. Have a look – I think she’ll give you a smile or two.

I’m just recommendin’ …

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Day 150 A Tad Fatigued

Posted by themirrenlee on 29/05/2012

I can show up every day – I’m happy I’ve proved that to myself – but I can’t actually do a proper post every day.

Yet.

The Fibromites understand this.

The antibiotics are still fighting well, but …

… I’m just still fightin’ the fatigue …

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Day 149 Snot and Movies

Posted by themirrenlee on 28/05/2012

Okay, I’m sitting up and the antibiotics are starting to work – I know this because I can hear again. So Dr. Surfer Dude was wrong and I needed antibiotics all along. I know I always do when it involves my body from the neck up because I have the Sinuses from Hell. Yes, I’ve had the deviated septum operation, and the ENT guy says everything looks fine. So, why the fuck do I keep manufacturing sticky, slimy stuff that falls down the back of my throat and chokes me, affecting everything from eating to sleeping? Yes, I use the nasal irrigation thingy, yes, I use drugs, yes, I daily spray the top-of-the-range nasal protector up the … ahem … front passages … (for allergies, called Avamys), yes, yes, yes, I do everything I possibly can short of cutting my head off. Why do they all say it’s okay? IT’S NOT, it’s snot! (Sorry.)

The antibiotic troops are attacking the snot.

People always say they know their whatever like the back of their hand. That got me thinking – I don’t ever actually LOOK at the back of my hand, do you? Does anyone? Where did that saying come from, I wonder? Why the back of your hand more than, say, the front of your face, which you’re more likely to look at daily in a mirror? It’s weird. Anyway, I DO know my own body, and what it’s feeling/needs are/is going to do, better than anyone else, and I think that might be true for anyone with a chronic condition because you get kind of aware of yourself physically. Yet, funnily enough, the more chronic the condition, the more discounted we seem to get by doctors, in particular, because we are looked at as somehow being responsible for it.

That’s why I have had such a horrible sinus/chest condition for about two and a half weeks – because I didn’t listen to myself and say to the doctor, “It’s not viral, I know my body, just give me the fucking antibiotics”.

So now I’m utterly exhausted from being engulfed in what the ENT guy politely called “catarrh”, but which I call SNOT, SNOT, SNOT! It gives you headaches, it blocks up your ears, it covers your vocal chords, it triggers your asthma and it chokes you when you try to sleep. I’m drained from the draining.

The good news, however, is MAYBE the antibiotics and their valiant troops are kicking bacterial ass and I MIGHT be on the mend, FINALLY. All the Fibromites know what it’s like trying to recuperate from anything extra added to our regular condition, so I expect a bit of time will be needed for full recuperation – which is still half of a “normal’s” recuperation – but at least I feel I’m going forward now instead of treading snot.

I noticed a couple of new people read my post about The Desperate Housewives – people who are into movies and TV. I’m going to open a new Category for that, but in the meantime, please check out:

geekactually.com

If you’re a movie buff, you’ll sure to find it interesting. It’s my son’s site, and he’s an uber geek who reviews movies and comic books. He does two podcasts a week on films (one news, one reviews) and one a week on comic books. A Comic Con is happening in Melbourne at the end of June and he’ll be coming here to report on it. (He’s in Sydney). His movie knowledge is pretty spooky, and he does some great interviews as well. He also runs some competitions, for free movie tickets, so he’s got something for everyone who’s interested in films.

Okay, time to take those ass kicking antibiotics.

I’m just recoverin’ …

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Day 148 Holding Pattern

Posted by themirrenlee on 27/05/2012

Sunday.

A day of rest.

And of waiting for the miracle of antibiotics to kick in.

I’m just fed up to the back of my snot filled teeth with this bug …

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Day 147 How’s Your Desperate IQ?

Posted by themirrenlee on 26/05/2012

Here’s a change of pace – this is more about “Desperate Housewives” than my health!

I gave Dr. Surfer Dude long enough. It may indeed be viral, but when I don’t feel any better after 2 weeks AND my ears are steadily blocking up to the point of deafness, then I’m trying antibiotics for the hell of it. Let’s see what happens.

Also, I have a new word I’m coining: Ignorist. Not Pessimist, not Optimist, Ignorist. This is because every day I feel better I get over excited and Optimistic that the next day will be just as good, and then when I feel bad I get Pessimistic that I’ll never feel better again. So I’ve decided to call myself an Ignorist – I’m going to Ignore how I’m feeling on a daily basis and just take it as it comes.

Okay, now to the Housewives. An Australian friend of mine, Hollie McKay, works for Fox Entertainment News in Los Angeles as a reporter (her column is called PopTarts), and sometimes she asks me for some feedback on an entertainment or pop culture question. Her last one was so interesting, and such food for thought, that I thought you might find it interesting if I shared it with you.

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/05/04/which-stars-post-desperate-housewives-career-will-be-most-desperate/

Go there, read the article (it’s not very long), and think about what your predictions are (feel free to share them and tell me what you think of mine). Just a bit of fun.

I’m just ignorin’ …

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Day 146 Didn’t See it Coming

Posted by themirrenlee on 25/05/2012

Crash!

Trapped under a big ol’ semi today.

Might be the rain.

Might be too much optimism last nite.

I’m just waitin’ for tomorrow …

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Day 145 Progress!

Posted by themirrenlee on 24/05/2012

Well, yes, I DID get run over in the middle of the night, but it appears to have only been a small compact vehicle that was responsible, perhaps even a golf cart, because by this afternoon I was up and doing things. Incredible.

Now I don’t want to get too excited here, because us Fibromites know there could always be a Sherman tank just lying in wait, but I AM grateful that my pain and fatigue were bearable enough to organize some things for my Sydney trip; I sorted several boxes.

I even made myself some dinner, which I NEVER do. I turned off my stove/oven at the start of the new Millennium and switched allegiance to my microwave. If I can’t nuke it or toast it, I eat cookies. But tonight I fried some eggs and nuked a fungus patty. I’m a vegetarian and there’s this brand called Quorn that makes really tasty frozen food, but they say it’s not soy, it’s fungus, which doesn’t make it sound all that appealing, but who cares. It microwaves in a minute, tastes good, and probably isn’t Soylent Green. (I hope.) (Google it if you don’t remember the movie),

I can even breathe better today – took some Prednisolone last night and it really helped. So, all in all, I do feel like (whispering) someone is taking the pins out of my Voodoo Doll and I’m recovering well. My big hope is that tomorrow I’ll feel strong enough to actually sit at the computer and do some work, including writing this. It’s much easier to have access to my whole website, but it’s been too uncomfortable to sit up and type. Thank you, computer nerds, for cell phones.

(Normal voice) You have to be careful when discussing recovery; I’ve found that the Universe has a very sick sense of humor. (I should rewrite that pun, but I won’t because it may actually be quite clever. I’ll have to think about it.)

The cat wants a cuddle and my arm wants a rest. Surrounded by demands – it’s exhausting.

I’m just progressin’ …

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Day 144 Been Down So Long …

Posted by themirrenlee on 23/05/2012

… it looks like up to me.

That’s actually the title of a book by Richard Farina, who was married to Joan Baez’s sister. How’s THAT for trivia?!

It’s kind of how I feel with this virus. I went out for several hours today and by the time I got home I was sorry I’d ever gotten up. Hateful Fibro kicked in with the extra muscle pain and fatigue. It was even making my asthma start to flare up. I can only imagine what tomorrow will be like – here comes the Hummer!

But the good news is I was ABLE to get out at all. I not only did necessary errands, but I also got a long overdue haircut. It was a real mess from being neglected for so long – I even hacked off a bit in the back by myself. Today’s hairdresser held up the uneven chunks, looked at me and asked, “Did you do this?”

I couldn’t hang my head in shame because she had hold of my hair, but I looked suitably chastened.

I like razor cuts – they give texture to my hair. Luckily, a person at the cheapie cut place I went to did them; most hairdressers don’t. So I got a really good cut, and this always makes me feel better on all levels.

I think I’m on the mend – I just don’t know how long the stitching will take. I’m hoping to get to Sydney by the beginning of next week. Nicky’s birthday is on June 1st, and age 13 is a milestone!

I’m just mendin’ …

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Day 143 Being Sensible

Posted by themirrenlee on 22/05/2012

A little teeny relapse from overdoing it yesterday.

So I’ll simply listen to my body – with no guilt and no drama (makes a nice change) – and lie quietly until I feel stronger.

Be back tomorrow.

I’m just waitin’ …

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