the MIRREN LEE

The 2012 Act Three Journey of an Actress/Coach/Writer.

Day 180 Hard to Help

Posted by themirrenlee on 29/06/2012

I’ve had a bad few days, as can be seen with this blog. An event last night showed me another thing that a chronic condition like Fibromyalgia takes away from its sufferers.

The ability to help others as much as we’d like to.

Instead, we’re the ones usually having to ask for help ourselves.

The friend I live with gets chronic, acute migraines, often ending up at the ER. Last night she had a bad turn, and her husband (who’s a doctor) couldn’t really figure out what was wrong with her as some of her symptoms were different.

I stood by, helping in any way I could, even if was just moral support. Finally, around 3am she went to sleep, and Roman went to bed, knowing he had to get up around 6:30am.

I said I’d keep an ear out for her so he could sleep, and I ended up not being able to sleep at all – either last night or all today. So now I’m exhausted, sore and frustrated that I can’t control my body yet again.

When my grandson, Nicky, got leukemia in 2007, at age 6, I was still able to help his parents as part of a team working together – to reach a happy conclusion, thankfully.

Now I wonder about how much use I’d be today, with such limited stamina.

I think most people like to feel they can help people close to them if it’s needed. It’s a very personal gift, which no money can buy. As the ad says, it’s “Priceless”.

So when we find ourselves severely limited by our health, it’s hard not to feel diminished yet again by what we CAN’T do.

All I can do is refocus my energies on getting as well as I can, and stay positive about the eventual outcome.

Any other – negative – mindset will simply leave me needing more help than ever, with an inability to turn it around. I refuse to accept that possibility.

I’m just tryin’ to help …

One Response to “Day 180 Hard to Help”

  1. Tammy said

    This maybe the hardest aspect of fibromyalgia for me to accept too 🙂

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