the MIRREN LEE

The 2012 Act Three Journey of an Actress/Coach/Writer.

Day 238 Wondering and Wandering

Posted by themirrenlee on 25/08/2012

Okay, so where are we? More importantly, WHY are we? I don’t mean that in an existential, meaning of life kind of way, I mean it in why does this blog exist?

I got to thinking about it because it seems like whenever I write just a kind of small, holding-my-place, kind of post, I get some people “Liking” it, and even sometimes following me because of it, and I’m always surprised at this, both because I started this whole daily post thing only as a discipline for my writing, and also because I wonder where people find me?! I guess that’s because I really have almost no clue how WordPress works – I never have the patience to go through the Help sections – which is why I’m not always sure exactly how to thank people for their feedback. What I’ve just started doing is clicking on “Following” for everyone (I find all posts interesting, anyway), and then saying a big Thank You in my own post. Take that as said today for new people from yesterday. Oh, and I also wonder what exactly it is people like about a short, “not really” post?

The other thing is, because I may be the only person in the blogging world who doesn’t care if she has followers or not (but yes, it is nice to know that people actually get some pleasure out of my writing; I just mean I’m not doing it for Followers), and am writing rambly stuff about this gear shift in my life this year, entering my “third act” so to speak, I find that the selection of people who are reading me are really, really eclectic. It’s lovely and funny. Usually, if you write about cooking, you get people Following you who are interested in cooking, and the same for other subjects. But I get people interested in, and writing about, a whole range of issues. It’s great but kinda bewildering.

What I have to work very hard to avoid is NOT to write to please anyone but myself, which can happen when you get 3 new Followers who, for instance, love cooking. I was raised to please others while looking after them (pretty much cured after many years of therapy, but always lurking underneath my psychological rocks), so my first instinct might be to write something about cooking knowing it would please those readers. Now this would be very bad, because I turned off my cooking lobe about 15 years ago, and am now like a recovering alcoholic – I will never go near a stove again. Microwave, yes – if I can nuke it in a few seconds, I’m in. But I don’t even buy those packets that want you to stir them together after cooking separately. FAR too complicated. It’s got to take only a few fork piercings at the most, in under a minute, if it wants to live in my freezer.

As I said, though, I like reading other people’s blogs, and look upon cooking ones with the same bewildered fascination as I would those about raising worms. I may not want to do it, but I’m happy to read about it if you do.

So that’s where I am with the blog itself – not finished as a website, but at least I’ve kept up posting something every single day, which was the main goal. I’ve bought my name back finally (very complicated how I lost it), and I may make mirrenlee.com a separate website for my acting, coaching etc., or I may combine it all under that name. Not sure yet.

With my activities so far this year, I’ve booked my ticket for going to L.A. – another big goal – and am making some (very) slow, but steady inroads into getting my health back to functioning, if not normal, since Fibromyalgia can’t be cured (yet), but it can be managed better, like it was before I got the Menopause from Hell. So I feel I’m making progress with starting my Third Act, but because I’m a tightly wound Type A personality, it’s never fast enough.

Do I need to go faster? No, I need to accept who and how I am, and do the best I can. The way we all beat ourselves up in life is so sad – as the saying goes, “If you treated your friends the way you treat yourself, you’d have no friends!”

So thanks if you read what I write, and thanks also to whoever invented Blogging, because it’s so neat to find out so many interesting things about so many different people in the world.

Oh, and yes, I’m still having a minor nervous breakdown on decisions re my teeth. I’m thinking of indulging in the age old cure for everything unpleasant we don’t want to face: hiding from it; ignoring it; procrastinating about it. Putting my fingers in my ears and yelling, “Nyah, nyah, nyah, you can’t make me.”

I guess the question is: do I really want my Third Act to include all my teeth falling out? Depends. Can I live on microwaved oatmeal?

I’m just wonderin’ …

2 Responses to “Day 238 Wondering and Wandering”

  1. iesadora said

    You don’t want to put off the dentist!!!! It ain’t gonna get better on it’s own and can actually get worse real quick – then cause other problems and all kinds of pain. Keep as many of your teeth for as long as you can, after they fall out/get pulled your jaw bone will actually start to deteriorate unless you get implants (time consuming process).

    • You’re perfectly right. I’m not going to not do it, but with our Australian system of claiming back money on procedures, I’ve finally managed to work out that I need to get it all done in the same calendar year, so that means 2013. I’m just hoping there’s no major tooth pain until then!

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