The 2012 Act Three Journey of an Actress/Coach/Writer.

Day 348 No Longer Possessed

Posted by themirrenlee on 16/12/2012

As I feared after yesterday’s efforts, I woke up unable to function. As I hoped, I actually improved during the day and was able to sort through all the stuff I had brought back in the car.

This means I am still getting better with the Fibro., which is monumentally wonderful. I seem to be able to bounce back every time those Buffalos, Hippos and Hummers attack me during the night. I feel like a Super Hero.

Unfortunately, I also feel like a complete idiot because after looking through the mounds of possessions the wonderful Tracey has been storing for me for a couple of years, I discovered that I am going to throw out or give away about 98% of it all! I am really shedding my old skin and going forward in a different direction.

It’s not that it’s very easy to get rid of the things I’ve collected, especially the boxes of books, but I just keep thinking that I don’t want to be weighed down right now, wondering where to store all my bits and pieces that are, in fact, for when I’m living in a place on my own again, and I’m not one hundred percent sure when that will be.

I met a girl once who told me she had lived in an ashram for five years so she had her stuff so stripped down that she could be ready to pack up and go anywhere in about fifteen minutes. How long would it take to pack up everything that you own?! I actually think that’s a bit extreme, but the idea of it is kind of appealing.

The problem with possessions is that they start to possess us rather than the other way round. There’s care and maintenance involved, and places needed to put them in. Some people feel comforted by lots of stuff, as the TV shows about hoarders show us so dramatically. My late mother grew up during the Depression and never had many clothes, so she used to collect trunks full of them just to know they were there. I’ve never been a great hoarder, but I do have a passion for  op shopping (Mom’s influence), and so I end up finding things that I like but don’t really need. I have enough wicker items to furnish a small tropical hotel.

Going through my things I also had the usual reaction of, “OMG, I forgot I had that,” or “Oh, that’s where that was.” Which then makes me wonder: if I forgot I had it, do I really need it?

Spaces themselves are a problem when it comes to possessions, because however much space we have things will be attracted to fill it. Whether you move into a small room, or a three story house, the space will be filled.I have moved into places with practically nothing in them, and found myself giving things away within a couple of months just to have some room!

So that got me thinking about why I’ve been hanging onto all this stuff I’m trying to find storage for. Whenever, wherever I move, things will come when I need them. It’s like the Universal Vacuum Law: if you want something, create a vacuum first for it, then be specific about what you want to fill that vacuum. Don’t just say, “Money”, because you might get only a dollar, and don’t just say, “A new romance”, because you might get a serial killer!

Finally, I want to start fresh and see if I’ll find myself surrounded by some new tastes and interests in my living areas once I finally get a place. It’s always fun to op shop from scratch, without preconceived ideas, and match new things I find with the new me I’m planning to be in 2013!

Some people may find all this appalling, and love the stability of their possessions, but hey, I’m an Aquarian. We live for change. Plus I’ve always loved the adventure of new places, and new things to put in them.

I have until Thursday to get everything given or thrown away, plus finish the blanket box for Caryl, before I’m on an evening plane. I feel like I’m in an episode of “Survivor” or “The Great Race”. Can’t wait to get to Sydney and have all my possessions behind me – literally. Hoping to get some co-operation from the Hippo Hummers – Leave Me Alone!

I’m just sortin’ … and sortin’ … and sortin’ …

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