the MIRREN LEE

The 2012 Act Three Journey of an Actress/Coach/Writer.

Day 355 A Christmas Flare

Posted by themirrenlee on 23/12/2012

Turns out I’m having a bit of a Flare. Couldn’t go Christmas shopping with Nicky, which disappointed him, and is one of the major things I hate about having Fibro.: disappointing people when it comes to plans.

I’d better finally be on my feet tomorrow because it’s the last chance I’ll have to finish my Christmas shopping. Thankfully, since I don’t speak to most of my family my list is short!

I have turned into a “Bah Humbugger” when it comes to Christmas. It now just feels like hard work. One thing that doesn’t help create Christmas feelings is having it during summer in Australia. After 43 years here, I still can’t get used to it.

Every Christmas I tell myself that I’ll be in a snowy climate for the next one, but haven’t made it since 1981 in London. It was a magical time that year.

However, the trade off would be not sharing it with my kids, or grandson. Oh, if only they’d hurry up with inventing teleporter machines, a la Star Trek.

I’ll probably be grumbling about Sydney’s weather until I leave. It’s always hot and humid – drives me nuts. It’s one of the main reasons I moved back to Melbourne a few years ago; it’s always cooler.

I’m hoping for two things tomorrow: to feel better and to find a bit of Christmas spirit.

I’m just looking’ …

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Day 354 Hello Mr. Sandman

Posted by themirrenlee on 22/12/2012

My family here in Sydney – son David, DIL Katie and grandson Nicky – last saw me a few months ago. I was mostly bedbound with the Fibro. cuz I hadn’t slept for over 3 years.

I was so looking forward to showing them how much better I’ve been doing now that I’m sleeping pretty regularly.

Unfortunately, I have hit a Wall from the work and stress of the last few days, and I can’t find a door yet to push thru it. So I have spent the whole day unconscious.

I have 2 days left for Christmas shopping, and MUST put my passports in for renewal. So feeling better is a priority.

We’re watching a lovely trashy movie together called, “2012”, about the predictable news at the moment: the end of the world. Such fun predicting the lines!

I’m almost sleep, though, and holding good thoughts for a big recovery tomorrow.

I’m just closin’ my eyes …

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Day 353 I Made It!

Posted by themirrenlee on 21/12/2012

I made it to Sydney. A mighty effort, and lots of drugs, to push thru the pain.

Now I can relax until January 27th, when I leave for Fiji/L.A. It’s great to hang around with my wonderful grandson, Nicky (13).

I’ve been pretty strong, but I must rest now.

I’m just lyin’ down …

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Day 352 Ouch! Keeping The Faith

Posted by themirrenlee on 20/12/2012

Okay, this is when my faith that everything happens for a reason gets sorely tested.

I was finishing off packing when I turned the wrong way and wrenched my back. I’m sure a lot of people can relate to those times when just the slightest wrong move can turn you into the Tin Man – where’s the oil can?!

So I am now in a lot of pain – especially hard to take is it hurts when I breathe in. Lungs are surrounded by muscles, and if the muscles get hurt, so does the breathing.

I’ve pretty much overdone it the last week or so, being excited at how much better I was feeling. My poor body was a tad worn out and ripe for an injury.

I’ve had to cancel tonight’s trip and spend another $200 getting one for tomorrow at 6:30pm.

I’m feeling a bit upset and fragile, but that’s probably mostly from the pain. In terms of having to change plans and spend more money, I’m pretty good at keeping my faith in the plans of the Universe.

Luckily, Roman says he can drive me to the airport, so that’s a silver lining.

Now it’s time for Arnica cream, drugs, a hot water bottle and a whole lot of sleep.

I WILL be okay for tomorrow.

I’m just havin’ faith …

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Day 351 Lift Off Minus 22 Hours

Posted by themirrenlee on 19/12/2012

I’m still standing. Well, no I’m actually in bed now, but I managed to get that much closer to my flight tomorrow.

When I got up, I was shaking from pain and fatigue – damned Hummer Hippos. BUT, yet again, I recovered in a couple of hours.

I sorted and packed, and got a big surprise when I went to the bank with my long-saved coins, neatly arranged in money bags.

They don’t use bags anymore – did you know that? You just shovel them all into a machine which counts it. I got $627.05 which is kind of interesting cuz I don’t collect 5c coins. Of course, they now have to charge a small fee for doing it. Banks and their exchange of services for profits … don’t get me started.

I want to put the money on a travel card before the fantastic exchange rate goes down. I’ll have to get that done in Sydney now.

Everything has been whittled down to what’s in my bedroom, which looks like the police had a search warrant.

How will I make this last, mad dash of energy to get out of here?

Who knows? Guess I’ll just have to trust the Universe, as I always have.

Will still get photos of the blanket box – the bedroom light is too dull for my phone.

I must sleep, very deeply, for many hours. Now.

I’m just sayin’ …

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Day 350 Restored Box, Now Restore Self

Posted by themirrenlee on 18/12/2012

Wow, I am lying flat on my very painful back after working for about nine hours – NINE HOURS! – on restoring Caryl’s blanket box. I’m very sore but have a great sense of accomplishment.

The box is lovely. Caryl picked a beautiful paint color to go with the material she had for the top that matches her bedroom curtains.

It will be interesting to see how fast I can restore myself tomorrow. I have a lot to do still before leaving Thursday night for Sydney.

So far, I’m still bouncing back by the afternoon. Such a positive change. Oh, please let it keep up.

Tomorrow I’ll post before and after pics of the box. It’s always satisfying to do a creative project.

In the meantime, I can’t move and I need some deep sleep to help heal.

I’m just yawnin’ …

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Day 349 My Energeee …

Posted by themirrenlee on 17/12/2012

More sorting, more dropping off multiple bags and boxes to op shop, more errands to get ready for leaving.

I think it’s finally caught up with me today – I’m feeling tired and sore.

Caryl returned from her travels to Sydney and Adelaide. Good news is she feels energized from having such a good time that she’s done a huge shopping and stocked the house.

Any time someone can save me from having to do grocery shopping is a good time. When I enter supermarkets I lose the will to live.

I need a final burst of energy to get everything done before Thursday.

Maybe a little nap first will help. Like about fifteen hours.

I’m just fadin’ away …

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Day 348 No Longer Possessed

Posted by themirrenlee on 16/12/2012

As I feared after yesterday’s efforts, I woke up unable to function. As I hoped, I actually improved during the day and was able to sort through all the stuff I had brought back in the car.

This means I am still getting better with the Fibro., which is monumentally wonderful. I seem to be able to bounce back every time those Buffalos, Hippos and Hummers attack me during the night. I feel like a Super Hero.

Unfortunately, I also feel like a complete idiot because after looking through the mounds of possessions the wonderful Tracey has been storing for me for a couple of years, I discovered that I am going to throw out or give away about 98% of it all! I am really shedding my old skin and going forward in a different direction.

It’s not that it’s very easy to get rid of the things I’ve collected, especially the boxes of books, but I just keep thinking that I don’t want to be weighed down right now, wondering where to store all my bits and pieces that are, in fact, for when I’m living in a place on my own again, and I’m not one hundred percent sure when that will be.

I met a girl once who told me she had lived in an ashram for five years so she had her stuff so stripped down that she could be ready to pack up and go anywhere in about fifteen minutes. How long would it take to pack up everything that you own?! I actually think that’s a bit extreme, but the idea of it is kind of appealing.

The problem with possessions is that they start to possess us rather than the other way round. There’s care and maintenance involved, and places needed to put them in. Some people feel comforted by lots of stuff, as the TV shows about hoarders show us so dramatically. My late mother grew up during the Depression and never had many clothes, so she used to collect trunks full of them just to know they were there. I’ve never been a great hoarder, but I do have a passion for ¬†op shopping (Mom’s influence), and so I end up finding things that I like but don’t really need. I have enough wicker items to furnish a small tropical hotel.

Going through my things I also had the usual reaction of, “OMG, I forgot I had that,” or “Oh, that’s where that was.” Which then makes me wonder: if I forgot I had it, do I really need it?

Spaces themselves are a problem when it comes to possessions, because however much space we have things will be attracted to fill it. Whether you move into a small room, or a three story house, the space will be filled.I have moved into places with practically nothing in them, and found myself giving things away within a couple of months just to have some room!

So that got me thinking about why I’ve been hanging onto all this stuff I’m trying to find storage for. Whenever, wherever I move, things will come when I need them. It’s like the Universal Vacuum Law: if you want something, create a vacuum first for it, then be specific about what you want to fill that vacuum. Don’t just say, “Money”, because you might get only a dollar, and don’t just say, “A new romance”, because you might get a serial killer!

Finally, I want to start fresh and see if I’ll find myself surrounded by some new tastes and interests in my living areas once I finally get a place. It’s always fun to op shop from scratch, without preconceived ideas, and match new things I find with the new me I’m planning to be in 2013!

Some people may find all this appalling, and love the stability of their possessions, but hey, I’m an Aquarian. We live for change. Plus I’ve always loved the adventure of new places, and new things to put in them.

I have until Thursday to get everything given or thrown away, plus finish the blanket box for Caryl, before I’m on an evening plane. I feel like I’m in an episode of “Survivor” or “The Great Race”. Can’t wait to get to Sydney and have all my possessions behind me – literally. Hoping to get some co-operation from the Hippo Hummers – Leave Me Alone!

I’m just sortin’ … and sortin’ … and sortin’ …

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Day 347 Too Much

Posted by themirrenlee on 15/12/2012

I drove and picked up my stuff today where it’s been stored at my friend’s place.

Between the almost four hours of driving and the lifting, I can hardly move.

I’m just a tad incapacitated …

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Day 346 Shedding My Old Life

Posted by themirrenlee on 14/12/2012

Well, by golly it seems I must really be having a bit of magic with the Fibro. I was so wrecked when I got up today I could hardly walk, and yet within a couple of hours I was running around doing things.

I painted the wicker blanket box for Caryl for several hours. It was so hot and rainy here today that the humidity was a killer. But I kept at it, and even though I’m very sore I feel very proud to have done it. (Whether it will ever dry in this weather is another matter!)

Tomorrow I am FINALLY going to pick up my stuff at Tracey’s. I expect to be sore, but now I’m also expecting to be able to work through it.

Which means the idea of travelling to L.A. without major issues becomes a lot more possible.

I have put a sign outside my bedroom saying “No Buffalos, Hippos or Hummers allowed”, so maybe they’ll leave my poor body alone tonite.

It’s shaping up to be a watershed year for me (whatever the hell that means), with teeth done, sleeping happening, and now the Fibro. improving.

For anyone going through a rough time, hang in there and stare it down. You, too, can have shedding water. (Such a weird saying, isn’t it?)

I’m just feelin’ better …

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