Day 195 The Cat, eBay & Me

Hmmmmm …

Bye bye Stilnox. Useless stupid drug. Made me feel worse than the insomnia.

Back to The Great Search for an insomnia cure. I read about two new drugs hitting the market soon, but I’m not holding my breath. That would be silly cuz I’d suffocate.

My lovely friends left today for the London Olympics, so it’s just me and the cat in their lovely house.

The cat is a Burmese named Ming. He’s 150 years old and can’t decide if he wants to run around like a kitten, or collapse on my bed in a coma for twelve hours straight. I know the feeling.

He’s a bit of a whack job, in that he’s taken to lying on my chest, purring for a few minutes, then lunging his jaws around my neck like a vampire. Channeling Edward Cullen. He doesn’t do any damage, just holds me for a few seconds, then lets go. Weird. Maybe that’s why I can’t sleep AT NIGHT?!

That’d be right. Bella gets Edward; I get a Looney Tunes cat.

So I’ve decided to just let go of worrying about not sleeping – for tonight, anyway. I have 500 Foxtel channels, 300 books, plenty of ice cream, Words with Friends, eBay, and a strange cat I should probably keep half an eye on anyway.

I started the eBay thing when I had to stop counting sheep. They were making too much of a mess. My favorite color is orange, so I just put that one word in the search engine, and I get about a gazillion listings. It then becomes mesmerising scrolling through them all. Also fascinating to discover what you can actually get in orange.

“Orange Safety Fencing Mesh” for less than $10? Anyone? Or maybe a sexy dress in purple?! Because I guess they think I didn’t really mean it with the whole orange thing. The search engine is about as unhinged as the cat.

But, hey, whatever gets me through the night …

The most disturbing thing I’ve discovered with all my research is nowhere can I find a single mention of anything, and I mean ANYTHING, that says it actually made insomnia go away. No drugs, no routines, no alternative therapies, nothing. It’s all cloaked in vague terms of what WE, the sufferers, should be doing, to help ourselves make it happen. Like it’s my fault if I’m still awake when I’ve run out of ice cream.

So basically, to put it in the most technical of terms, I think I’m pretty much screwed.

I shall ponder this interesting, wholly unacceptable, conclusion and figure out my next move. Optimists always believe there’s a next move. That’s why we’re so cheerful, and charming to know.

She said through the gritted teeth of a chronic, totally frustrated, insomniac.

I’ll get back to you. In the meantime, check out that orange fencing – it looks useful.

I’m just waitin’ for The Sandman …